May 30, 2013
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Old Dogs, New Tricks
I’m 44 years old and I just decorated my car with shoe polish…or the modern, 2013 equivalent of shoe polish (in bright, non-toxic colors!)…for the first time in my life.
Maybe by the time my daughter graduates from Podville Elementary 5th grade they’ll have a full-on Prom with gowns and up-dos and boob jobs.
What? It could happen.
It hurts, squeezing those little plastic imitation shoe polish bottles. I felt like I should rest between “6th Graders On Board” and “So Long, Podville E!” I didn’t rest, though. If I had rested, I wouldn’t have had time to dash back inside, soak up some air-conditioning and tell you all about how I’m spending my one precious adult life.
I’ve been wondering how I can play these ideas out in my next graduate school admission essay. Try, try again, they say. You didn’t think I’d given up?!
Truthfully I’m just not completely up to my usual strength after my illness last week. I was ill, people. And then my daughter, with the puking. It was like, “Bummer, Redux.” And when I say “redux,” I mean REDUX.
I’m so happy I volunteered to drive the boys TO the party so: a) I don’t have to stay; b) I don’t have to chaperone; and c) I don’t have to do anything else for the rest of the afternoon.
My husband’s 90 year old grandfather is close to passing away today. It’s a sad day. I suspect that means I’ll be traveling over the weekend, although it’s hard to say right now.
Why don’t they make those color shoe polish paint thingies in orange and purple?? What, only people who go to schools with primary color mascots use car paints? I think not. It’s not easy to mix those paints, either. I gave it the old college try, but you know, old dogs, new tricks….
We’re having leftovers tonight.
Today I struggled through a bike ride. I’m not up to my usual strength, I tell you. Then I wasted an hour at therapy. The therapist is starting to get on my nerves. Is that a normal part of therapy? Like, there’s this thing she does with her face when she’s affecting sympathy. It’s really bugging me. I want to say, “can you say that again, but with your regular face?” I don’t know. That seems mean. Maybe the sympathy isn’t affected. Maybe she genuinely feels it. If so, she should stop overdoing her facial expression.
Also, the dust-catchers sitting around in her office are beginning to lose their luster for me. They’re collecting a lot of dust. They’re tired. I’m tired of therapy. Good thing it’s summer.
After therapy I went to buy special car shoe polish paints at Michaels but they didn’t have any. She said, “we only carry those around graduation time.”
Me: “…”
I didn’t say anything mean to her. But I kinda wanted to. I went to CVS instead. No one in Podville thought of going to the CVS. It turns out later (I learned via text and FB) that CVS was one of the last remaining places near Podville where mothers of 5th graders could find special car shoe polish paints. And I got the last package.
It just goes to show, sometimes you have to think outside of the box. Or inside the Big Box. Or whatevs.
Last night I studied biology and astronomy for my (son’s) science final. Tonight I’m tackling energy and physics. Boy, I’ll be glad when I finally get out of school again, so I can concentrate on my writing and my grown up life.
But at least when I have a daughter-in-law I’ll know how to paint her car for the baby shower I’m sure I’ll be throwing for her.
Comments (10)
Lol. Walmart carries the car paint thingies in every color of the rainbow!
OMG – stop the presses. OBL said FB.
I guess you better special order that car shoe polish/paint for your future DIL’s baby shower
now
in case you have to throw it for her at graduation time of year.
When Nathan and I got married (almost a year ago, AAAH omg) we were having lunch with my family at a restaurant right before leaving town and going home. While we were looking at the menus, two or three of my sisters got up to go look for a jacket in someone’s car, which was weird, but then again everyone in my family is weird so I didn’t really suspect anything. I SHOULD have been suspicious, but I totally forgot about the tradition of shoe polish-ing and otherwise decorating the vehicles of newlyweds. So we had a nice surprise when we left the restaurant, and my family got to pat themselves on their backs for being clever.
But when one of them gets married, I WILL GET REVENGE. (I’m not mad at all about it, but it’s still a situation that calls for revenge.)
@turningreen - :O
CVS is one of the top ten places people shop on a regular basis. Saw it on the internet. Below Walmart, McDonalds, Subway.
It’s interesting how much you conform given how independent you are.
shoe polish. huh.
it’s just a whole lot easier being a disaffected outsider. I’m tellin’ ya.
It’s possible ^that’s^ not true.
@Roadkill_Spatula - it IS interesting, but in this case I was “required” to decorate because that’s how the guard at the country club gate could allegedly tell we were with the podville swim party. The OBLs aren’t members, see. I draw the line at country clubs. Draw it!!! Line!
what the heck is the shoe polish stuff and why don’t i know about it? i’m going to walk over to CVS this afternoon just to see. oh wait, that’s a rite aid. ’cause i don’t shop at cvs. (or subway. yuck) anyhow.
i’m not talking about this issue. i’m not. but if i were i’d tell you were the first person i thought of. super sucks.
sorry about the grandfather-in-law.