June 23, 2013
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And, I Mean, I Can Be Fickle.
It’s not one of my more highly-advertised qualities, and indeed, few people notice my underlying fickleness, but if I sense a wavering of loyalty or dependability, I can be fickle.
I’ve accepted it. I’ve come to terms with my fickleness, and its situation-specific triggers.
Years ago, maybe 20 years ago or more, I had an argument with a relation-by-marriage. The argument left an indelible impression, as some arguments do, and the relationship was never repaired. To the contrary, the relationship has worsened over the years in all possible directions, and the worsening of the relationship has reinforced my inner sense of rightness, if you know what I mean. I’m not proud of it. I tend to think an inner sense of rightness is an indisputable indication of wrongness. Nevertheless. Some relationships beg for a self-righteous sense of superiority, no matter how much you strive against it.
The relation-by-marriage is coming to visit in one calendar week.
It’s a struggle, this particular development. I’m struggling with it.
I just thought you should know.
Comments (4)
I hope it goes well.
48 years ago, one of my cousins threw a stick that hit me in the head, the very first time we played together. We ended up friends anyway, but he went on to clean out Grandma’s account and then become a bank robber. He did his time and is now a truck driver. I have not sought him out to renew the relationship.
Not so long ago, my husband’s family had “issues” with siblings. It still is present in some cases and makes it awkward for family gatherings. I, too, had a situation with my DIL a few months back. We have tried to move past it and agreed to disagree. It’s still there but we are making an effort to move on.
Disloyal? Undependable? Who, what, where?!
I hope you survive the visit. I mean, I’m sure you will. Certainly.
On another note, I miss being able to edit comments (re wordpress).
Good luck with the impending visit. I hope you can schedule lots of important activities for you both to so separately!